So I was talking to my Friend Ryan, who was lookin to lock up with some dirty ass in NY. He was on craigslist, and saw a person who was willing to do 'anything' for an iPhone. This girl was nice enough to post pictures of her double d tits and say as long as your not psycho you can do anything to her for an hour for a phone. That's special. So that got me to looking at some other people's profile.
I started to notice a trend.
All the fat people posting personal ads make sure they put, 'must be attractive' or 'must be in shape'. Bitches, you are on the bottom of the fucking dating food chain by trying to get ass on the net, and your fat as fuck. How dare you ask for your partner to be anything. Your ad should read, I'm fat, ill take what I can get.
There should be some kind of option on these sites where you have to get your weight verified by a notary and you can filter based on exact weight.
And to the girls out there who try to look smart by writing their trailer trash, only to look up every other word on the thesaurus, transforming, "I just want to find a rich guy who will fuck me and spend all his money on me, and ill occasionally make the bed (that I slept in)" to, "I'm looking for a refined gentleman, with class and poise that knows how to spoil his companion and make a girl feel important, and in return I will cater to all your desires," let me just say FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. You are a whore, and you are just looking for a sugar daddy.
In my book, honesty is the best policy. I would rather you say that you are gold digger looking for an expensive meal, valet service and to cream some 600 thread sheets than to lie to me. At least that way I can plan the dine and dash before we get to the restaurant.
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