Weight Loss Hatin'

I'd like to take this opportunity to hate on all the people I work with that are on a diet, but for what reason or another, have not lost any weight in the 7 months I worked there.

I'm not hatin' because they are overweight, rather thier stupidity when it comes to thier weight loss efforts. Example- I work with someone who pays good money for a membership to SWAT, wakes up early in the morning to go swimming, spinning, and other types of good exercises, and then counts the calories on a box of fucking crackers, saying, "I cant eat this, it has 3g of fat," WHILE FUCKING EATING IT ANYWAY.

The main event is reserved for lunchtime, when they have people deliver (can't even get her ass off of their chair and walk to their car) fast food to her. Hey dip shit... the crackers your eating are fine, but put the fucking Big Mac down!!!

The best part- I get to hear every day about how sore they are from working out, like I should envy the fact your morning workout was more than cancelled out by what you ate for lunch. Seriously, there is a slight corollary to her and Ron Burgundy in Anchorman, "My arm hurts, because I did so many, I don’t know if you heard, but I was up to 1000".

I don't even need to hate on you, because you are hatin' on yourself. You spend at least $30 a month in a gym membership, at least $100 a month in fast food, and you sacrifice over 20 hours of sleep a month just so you can keep your molded pear shape. It is no wonder you can't manage a team, you can't even manage your weight.
Honestly….. here is the rundown of the meals by my boss this week for lunch
McDonalds- Monday
Arby’s- Tuesday
Taco Bell- Wednesday

And when someone calls her out, she has to say that her job is so demanding that she doesn't have time to get a good meal, as if subway is a fort night away. I translate that excuse as "I'm not good at my job, that's why I cant get shit done, that is why I have no time. If you in question are reading this, I really hope your tears fill you up so you wont have to make your employee's deliver you nasty food that will in turn stink up our workspace.

Tramp Stamp Hatin'

Oh you have a tatoo on your back.... cool. oh and it's some pink stars and shit. I've never seen that on the small of a persons back. Thats very original.....

You Pissed On My Floor....

Taken from craigslist this afternoon...

So I know things weren't going well. I tried to break up nicely a lot of times. I really didn't want to hurt you, but neither of us were happy. We were both miserable in fact. I'm sorry it didn't work out. It would have been lovely if we had both fallen madly and passionately in love- but we didn't. It needed to end. All of that, however doesn't explain why YOU PISSED ON MY FLOOR and then you left.

I called to see if you had somehow slipped. I was hoping there was an explanation. You hung up on me. I'm pretty sure that means you deliberately PISSED ON MY FLOOR i don't even know what to say to that. I don't know what to think. I'm not sure I can protect your dignity anymore.

I need to tell everyone, because it's so fucking crazy. YOU PISSED ON MY FLOOR. I have a new rule in my apartment now. Its the NO PISSING ON THE FLOOR RULE. it goes like this- DON'T PISS ON MY FUCKING FLOOR. thanks for a good laugh though. It's so much better than the cliche shit that ends way too many relationships.

I'm sure the next time I break up with someone, I'll be saying AT LEAST HE DIDNT PISS ON MY FLOOR.